


Akira Wanted To Be A Bride

by 264feet



Series: akira wanted to be a bride [1]
Category: Persona 5
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, But it's only one line, Character Study, F/F, Falling In Love, Female Persona 5 Protagonist, Getting Together, Marriage, Persona 5: The Royal Spoilers, Self-Acceptance, Trans Female Character, Transphobia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-31
Updated: 2020-07-31
Packaged: 2021-03-05 19:33:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,526
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25630627
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/264feet/pseuds/264feet
Summary: [P5R Third Semester spoilers]Showing your true form, in 15 easy steps. Or: Akira learns to love herself, with Sumire by her side.
Relationships: Kurusu Akira & Phantom Thieves of Hearts, Kurusu Akira/Yoshizawa Sumire | Yoshizawa Kasumi
Series: akira wanted to be a bride [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2052318
Comments: 27
Kudos: 131
Collections: Skurrel's Personal Fanfic Recommendations





	Akira Wanted To Be A Bride

**Author's Note:**

> Dedicated to my lovely girlfriend who has been there for me through everything.

1.

Akira always hated Kasumi Yoshizawa.

Never enough for him to be rude to her, oh no. The last thing the school’s aggressive delinquent would do is terrorize the delicate honor student. But watching her earn everyone’s praise, be so pretty and perfect… it feels like she’s a sports car speeding down the highway and he’s running on bloody, bare feet.

At the same time, he thinks he loves her.

That feeling is the opposite side of his hatred. It’s not like he wants to kiss her, or hold her, or any of that stuff. It’s just that he could imagine brushing her cherry red hair, and helping her put on her makeup each day, and shopping for dresses with her. The same things that make him mad about her, he admires.

If he lets himself dwell on it too long, he shrinks to half his height, looking up at his father and asking to dress up as Pink Argus from the Featherman series for Halloween. He remembers crying into his pillow until his chest hurt. He got to be Red Hawk instead- a male character- but the costume felt wrong, and after Halloween, he stuffed it into the back of his closet and never looked at it again.

And every year after that, he felt the costume’s foreboding aura emanating from the closet, and Akira had the creeping sensation that if he opened the closet door, he would see that the costume had rotted like a corpse. He thought he left that feeling behind when he was exiled to Tokyo, but now it’s back-- just whenever he thinks about her.

So he doesn’t.

* * *

2\. 

When they get their Personas, they say it’s like exposing their true selves.

Akira has never felt that type of freedom. Joker is a separate person in his mind, someone he becomes out of necessity. He’ll twirl his dagger in his gloved hands, he’ll lurk in the shadows, he’ll cut an enemy in half and do it all with a debonair smile. It’s the closest Akira has ever felt to self-actualization.

It’s actualization, in a form. It’s just actualizing as someone else. Not whoever- whatever- he really is, under there.

By chance, he’s formed a Confidant with Kasumi. All he did was use violence to scare off a stalker, because isn’t that all men are good for? And then they became friends at the cleanup.

Morgana suggests that the Phantom Thieves can use gymnastics. “Can you teach me that stuff?” Akira finds himself saying.

(God, every time he speaks, he wants to die. Why does he sound like that?)

“Does that mean you’re interested in gymnastics?” Kasumi asks, surprised.

In truth, Akira doesn’t give a shit about gymnastics. She offers to teach him to be _like her._

He can’t accept quickly enough.

* * *

3.

“So I’m talkin’ like, a genie. Magic lamp. What would you wish for?” Ryuji asks.

Ryuji just finished scarfing down his ramen. The noodles fall out of Akira’s chopsticks.

He knows. Deep down, he knows. He won’t say it. If the words were right before his eyes, he’d close them. He’d sooner tear them out than admit it.

“I dunno,” Akira says. “What about you?”

“Man, I asked you first.” Ryuji gets pouty, but that’s quickly replaced with a big grin. “Alright, first wish: one billion zillion Yen! That way, my mom n’ all us Thieves could live comfy forever!”

Akira cracks a smile. “So once you’ve crashed the world economy and destroyed the value of money, what’s next?”

“Hm... Tough, ‘cause with that kind of money, I could buy us whatever we want.” Ryuji leans back in his seat, daydreaming about the possibilities. “It really is hard to say, huh? I feel like I’ve got everything I want being friends with you. Kamoshida got what’s coming to him, the track team is back… I think I would’ve wished for my leg to be better, or for it to never have gotten broken, but… I’m happy where I am.”

The envy surfaces like a python, coiling around Akira’s heart. He chugs down the rest of his noodles in one gulp so he doesn’t have to speak.

“Maybe I’d wish for my own fan club of cute girls,” Ryuji says, with a dopey smile.

“I have a weird question for you,” Akira says. “Like, just for fun.”

“Shoot.”

“This is unrelated to genies. I was just thinking about it.” Akira doesn’t look at Ryuji as he speaks. “Imagine there’s a magic button, right?”

“Go on.”

Akira doesn’t clean the steam from his glasses. He doesn’t want Ryuji to see his eyes. “If you press it, then you would be transformed into the opposite gender. Everyone would think you’ve always been that way. Would you press it?”

To his surprise, Ryuji barks out a laugh. “Naw, dude. Maybe for a second so I can see how I’d look like, but then I’d turn back. I bet I’d be hot.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, obviously. Like, I’m fine how I am. Liking girls and being a girl are two different things.”

Akira purses his lips. He can’t stop thinking about Kasumi, for one reason or another.

They both pay, stand up from their seats, and leave the restaurant. Ryuji asks, “Why? Would you press it--”

“No,” Akira answers, too quickly.

Ryuji pauses. “Alright, dude.”

* * *

4.

“I guess I just always knew,” Kasumi hums. “It feels like being a gymnast just fits me. Even since I was little, I always was jumping around trying to imitate some stunts I saw on T.V. I was a real terror for my Dad, I bet!” She chuckles.

Akira smiles and listens, as he often does.

“What about you, senpai? Did you ever want to be anything in particular growing up?”

When they pass by a store with bright white dresses and flowers in the window- It’s wedding season! announces the sign- Akira looks away.

“A member of the Diet.”

“That’s so cool, senpai! I bet you can make that dream come true!” Kasumi says.

“I bet.”

They walk further in silence. The wind picks up. Kasumi’s ponytail flutters in the breeze. Akira’s messy hair just gets in his eyes.

When they reach the station, they part ways. Kasumi squeezes his hand before she goes. Akira stares at his hand on the whole train ride home.

Morgana, as usual, is Morgana. “She’s really pretty, isn’t she? Almost as pretty as Lady Ann.”

Akira doesn’t dignify him with a response. He lingers in Yongen-jaya for a while before returning to Leblanc. Sojiro is a good caretaker, the type of man he wished could be his father. Maybe even the type of man he would have to eventually grow up to be.

The thought makes him sick to his stomach, but it’s not because of Sojiro. ‘Rotten Adult’ means something different to Akira than the rest of the Thieves.

Morgana pokes his head out of the bag. “Do you like her?”

“It doesn’t matter,” Akira snaps. Morgana flinches back and he immediately feels bad. “It’s not like she would be interested in someone like me.”

“Huh? But you have it all going on!” Morgana says. “You’re the leader of the Phantom Thieves, you’re cool, you’re handsome… you’re the picture of a dashing gentleman!”

He enters Leblanc. No customers today. Sojiro announces he just happens to have some old tuna to get rid of and Morgana hops out of the bag. Akira lays down in bed.

By the time Morgana returns upstairs, he’s already forgotten the conversation, but his words are branded into Akira’s mind.

* * *

5.

Akira doesn’t think there’s much time for flirtation when you have to defeat the Prime Minister and kill God.

Ann and Shiho find a way, but they were basically a thing before the Phantom Thieves even existed. And sometimes, Yusuke and Futaba’s spats seem a little too ‘old married couple’-esque. And Morgana is Morgana, if Ann even notices or cares at this point.

As for Akira and Kasumi, they’re Friends.

When all is said and done, Akira lies down. Goro Akechi has turned himself in to Sae to be arrested and testify against Shido in his place. He got to spend Christmas and New Year’s eve with his friends. There’s nothing left to worry about except the cavernous, itching, oozing hole in his chest.

* * *

6.

Akira awakes to the phone ringing.

“Were you still asleep, Kurusu-senpai?” Kasumi asks. Her voice is a little muffled from her poor cell phone quality. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you!”

“It’s okay.” Akira’s voice sounds light. Maybe it’s just out of sleepiness.

“I feel bad asking now, but… remember promising me that we’d go pay our respects to the shrine together on New Year’s Day? Today’s the day, if you want to keep that promise. I know it’s forward, but… how about accompanying me to Meiji Shrine this afternoon?”

“I’ll be there.” There’s definitely something odd voice-wise. Akira notices not by the pitch, but by the fact that listening to it doesn’t inspire a deep-self hatred.

“Really? Great, thank you! It’ll probably be crowded today, but it shouldn’t be too bad in the afternoon.”

“I’m sure we’ll be fine.”

“I must agree. I’ll pray to the gods that it won’t be too crowded,” Kasumi giggles. “Will you wear a kimono, too?”

“I don’t--”

“Heeeeey! Are you up yet?” Sojiro calls up to the attic.

Quickly ending the call, Akira stares at the phone. Kimono? That’s a high expectation for someone who didn’t even wear a yukata to a summer festival.

Oh, well. Time to start the old morning routine. Akira stands up, takes off her pyjamas, and shrieks.

* * *

7.

“Was everything okay up there?” Sojiro asks. He’s polishing a coffee cup with a rag. “You nearly scared away all my customers.”

“I think you don’t need the help,” says a handsome boy. Sojiro shoots him a Look and the (weirdly familiar) boy laughs, claiming he was just kidding.

“I would’ve checked on you, but… you know, it’s rude to barge into a lady’s room,” Sojiro says.

“I- I’m fine,” Akira says.

“Good. I’m glad you didn’t get all dolled up yet, I just need a little help around the store. And later on, if Wakaba’s old kimono doesn’t fit, let me know.”

Akira puts on her apron. Sojiro clears his throat brusquely and she doesn’t know why. “The hair?” he says. “We have health codes, you know.”

She reaches behind her head and feels her long, flowing hair. She runs her hands through it. It’s silky and smooth.

“Geez, don’t you even have a hair tie? Here.” Sojiro tosses her a spare one, likely one of Futaba’s.

Akira (a girl) ties up her hair (her hair) behind her head in a ponytail. Sojiro hands her a cup to polish. She drops it on the ground as she begins to sob.

“Hey! What’s the matter with you?!” Sojiro snaps. Despite the harshness, concern is written all over his face. “Are you alright?”

She can’t manage a word. She just curls up into a ball behind the counter. Her chest squishes into her knees and It Feels Right. The handsome boy at the counter, in a strange act of over-familiarity, comes behind the bar to check on her.

“You don’t have to help out if you’re that upset over it! I’ll just enlist this guy here to help me,” Sojiro says, softly. There’s no demands to ‘be a man’. There’s no ‘boys don’t cry’. “Seriously, it’s no problem.”

“I’ll get a broom and dustpan,” says the boy.

She allows Sojiro to stroke her hair as she cries. She assumes he learned that from taking care of Futaba, too. One thing that caring for Futaba clearly hasn’t prepared him for is seeing Akira’s face when she looks up. Her eyes are puffy, her nose is running, but she’s smiling from ear to ear as if she’s the happiest girl in the world.

* * *

8.

“You know, don’t you? We have to discuss this.”

Those words lead her from her happy family home (with Futaba, who calls her sister, and Wakaba and Sojiro and the strange Morgana-esque guy who said she’s a lady who needs to be protected) to a dirty old laundromat with a murderer. Goro Akechi crosses his arms.

“Well, then,” Akechi says. “Let’s try to sort through this situation.”

They have a terse discussion. Akechi can’t answer how he lived, but he claims that he was released from police custody after only a brief investigation. And, as much as Akira loathes to admit it, they both agree that Wakaba is no longer actually alive. Akechi would know.

“What say we join forces on this?” Akechi asks. “We need to investigate what’s going on here.”

“Don’t you care?”

Akechi blinks. He looks at Akira, as if considering her for the first time. “What? That you’re a girl?”

She nods, and he bursts out laughing.

“Look, I’m only a detective insofar as that I would kill people and then make up the truth behind the incidents,” Akechi says, “but even I could tell you were a girl before this all started.”

Her voice cracks. “How?”

“Let’s see…” Akechi counts on his fingers. “The way you looked at Kasumi, it’s not like you want to date her so much as crawl into her skin. You avoided looking at mirrors; we went to the hot springs but you refused to look at your own body. You even asked Ryuji about The Button. God, could you be any more obvious?”

Akira’s hands ball up into fists. From far away, she hears her father’s words. Be a man. He’ll grow out of it. It’s just a phase.

She had let herself play pretend for a while. She could pretend the gaping hole in her chest never existed. This- all of this, whatever it is- hasn’t erased the wound, though, it’s just placed a beautiful bandage on top of it.

“It was all Elementary to you, huh?”

He laughs again.

“Let’s just say that I entered the police station wearing a binder and I left it without one.”

Akira frowns. Akechi has motioned to his completely flat chest. Unless they’re giving out impromptu surgeries during interrogations (and at this point, she wouldn’t be surprised)--

It dawns on her. “No,” Akira says. “No way.”

“Thanks for catching up, Watson,” Akechi says, rolling his eyes. “Now. How about we go hunt down whatever pervert wants to play tradesies with teenagers’ private parts?”

* * *

9.

“You mean to tell me that you won’t accept my reality?” Maruki asks, genuinely surprised.

“Fuck your reality!” Akechi barks.

“I know your answer,” he sighs, as if he’s speaking to a rambunctious child. “But what about yours, Akira?”

Even her costume as Joker looks more feminine. Her hair flows behind her when she runs in the Metaverse.

A bead of sweat runs down her face.

-

_“... but even I could tell you were a girl before this all started.”_

-

_“That dress is nice,” Akira said, pointing to an item on sale._

_“I think it’s more your style than mine,” Ann chuckled. It was a genuine laugh, not a mocking one. Not what she was used to. “Want me to buy it for you?”_

_He had already walked away from the clothing rack, embarrassed but happy._

-

_“Who is your true self?” asked Igor-- the real Igor. “Trickster, you’ve saved us all and freed yourself from your chains. But even now, something prevents you from realizing who you truly are.”_

-

_“Would you still want to be my friend if I were someone else?” Akira asked._

_Kasumi gave her that big smile. “Of course, senpai! You’d still be you, no matter what you looked like! Tall or short, young or old, male or female--”_

-

“Stay in this reality,” Maruki says, smiling. He gently reaches his hand out. “You can be a real girl.”

Akira rips off her mask, hard, blood staining the floors of Maruki’s palace.

“I am a real girl!” she shouts. Arsène materializes and transforms, returning from the Sea of Souls as Raoul. “And I always was!”

* * *

10.

It takes time for Sumire to adjust to being Sumire, longer than it took for Akira to get used to living as a girl.

Then again, Akira always knew her truth deep down. She just looks different now, but she feels like herself. Sumire is adjusting to becoming a different person.

“I guess you must think I’m pretty lame, huh?” Sumire asks. “But… that’s Sumire. That’s who I am.”

“I don’t think you’re lame at all.”

“I’ve spent all this time running from myself, lying to myself. If Kasumi has been watching over me, she’d be so disappointed. I just couldn’t handle the truth.”

Akira shakes her head. “I know the feeling.”

She manages a small smile. “Senpai… thanks for cheering me on. I don’t think I could have come this far without you.”

“I don’t think I could have done this without you, either.”

Sumire blinks. “What do you mean?”

“Do you remember what you said to me when I asked if you’d like me even if I were a different person?”

“Um… I said I would, even if you were tall or short, young or old, male or female-- oh.”

“Yeah.”

Sumire also looks over Akira as if realizing that she wasn’t born female for the first time. It’s not just the cognitive dissonance from the new reality, but it’s as if people assume being female is synonymous with being Akira.

“In that Palace, I was so concerned with myself… I didn’t even think about what you’ve been going through. I guess that makes me even dumber, huh?” Sumire asks.

“Not at all. I just want to know if you still mean your words. If you still want to be my friend even if I’m like this.”

Sumire’s smile is still beautiful. “Of course I do.”

It feels like a weight is lifted off Akira’s shoulders. “I could never think you’re dumb. Let’s work on being our true selves together.”

“Then should we do this properly?” Sumire says. She stands up and bows. “I’m Sumire Yoshizawa. It’s nice to meet you.”

Akira does the same. “My name is Akira Kurusu. It’s nice to meet you as well.”

“Ooh, you used atashi instead of watashi! Really embracing your femininity, huh?” Sumire giggles. “Cute.”

Akira’s cheeks feel hot. “Might as well. I still like my name, so I need to get verbally express myself somewhere. Akira is gender-neutral, after all.”

“Akira it is.” Sumire smiles wider. “Thank you for staying by my side.”

* * *

11.

"We knew." 

Ann elbows Ryuji for that comment and he yelps in pain. "He means, we suspected," Ann says.

"It feels natural for you," Sumire adds. 

Morgana scoffs at Ryuji. "Honestly! Can't you have more tact?"

"Yeah, yeah, but..." Ryuji rubs the back of his neck. "We kinda talked about this stuff. No offense, dude. Can I still call you dude?"

"Sure," Akira says. 

"They have talked about this. How to best support you or _whatever_. It's infuriating how these morons feel about you," Akechi scoffs. Everyone ignores him, as usual. 

"No matter what, you're still our friend! One of our key party members!" Futaba says. "You've helped me through so much, so... let me help you! If anyone says anything rude, I'll hack them back into the stone age!" 

Yusuke makes a frame with his fingers. "You definitely look much more comfortable with yourself; it's reflected in your movements. If I might be so bold, you'd make a wonderful subject for my next piece."

"No nudes," Akira and Ann say simultaneously. Futaba bonks him on the head. Yusuke grumbles _why, I would never._

"I'm so excited for you!" Ann says. "You have to let me pick out a whole new wardrobe for you, okay?"

"That might be a bit much, don'tcha think?" Ryuji says. 

"Nonsense. I would be more than happy to cover the expense," Haru says. She intertwines her fingers. "And I echo Futaba's comment. If anyone is rude to you--" She has her delicate smile on, but her voice takes on a sudden intensity. "I'll bury them."

Ryuji scoots away from Haru in the booth. 

"This may be far down the line, but sis would easily be able to help if you wanted to change your gender on paperwork," Makoto notes. "I'll be here to support you however I can, as will all of us. I could easily get your uniform changed if you'd desire." 

"And you're still our Joker. We're going to need you more than ever to complete this upcoming mission," Morgana says. "Will you still lead us?" 

Akira smiles. Her friends, all of them, support her. She spent so long thinking everyone would hate her as much as she hated herself, but that couldn't be further from the truth. "I'd love to."

Sumire starts it, hugging Akira as she wipes her eyes on her sleeve. Then Futaba tackles them and joins the hug, then Ann, then Makoto, and then all of them are in one big group hug. Akechi watches from the sidelines. He begins to gingerly inch closer to the hug pile. 

"You can stay out there, actually," Futaba says.

"Fine by me." 

* * *

12.

Sumire’s lips taste like Leblanc’s coffee.

Akira’s been in relationships before. She had brief, shallow dating experiences with girls in her hometown. They were people she thought she might have even loved.

But she hated being looked at, hated being touched, kissed, cuddled. She hated being called someone’s “boyfriend” and she hated how they would ooh and ahh at her boyish features. They would get fed up with her quick and move on to a real guy.

Their glasses bump together during the kiss. Sumire’s face is beet red with traces of a nervous sweat. Akira nearly trips from how far she had to lean over the counter.

It’s still easily the best kiss that Akira’s ever had.

“S-so are we… girlfriends?” Sumire asks.

“I’d love nothing more.”

As she answers, she can’t believe that she used to think she hated Kasumi-- rather, Sumire. Well, Akira still eyes her smooth skin and red hair with a tinge of jealousy, but it’s quickly drowned by a flood of attraction. Sumire is her girlfriend. _Her_ girlfriend. And she’s Sumire’s girlfriend, too.

It’s that strength that she keeps close to her heart for the coming battle, well aware what awaits her when this reality fades.

* * *

13.

“Need a lift?” Maruki asks. And as mixed as Akira’s feelings are about the man, they’re trying to escape shady men in dark suits, so she accepts the offer.

They drive for a while in silence. Maruki seems to have adapted well to his change of heart. He’s moving on.

“Looks like your hair grew out a little,” Maruki chuckles. “It suits you.”

Akira glances at herself in the rearview mirror. Her hair is nowhere near as long as it was in the fake reality. And her chest is flatter, and her voice is deeper.

Even then, she’s found something that her fake self never had.

She exits the car at the station. Morgana is safe in her bag. Just a year back at home, then she can return to Tokyo and live her life as she’s meant to.

“Hey!”

Sumire waves Akira down. “Phew, I made it. You didn’t think you were going to get to just leave without talking to me, did you?”

“Of course not.”

Now that she’s here, though, she doesn’t know what to say. Sumire tugs her collar nervously, a blush creeping up on her face. “So… um… gosh, I had this all written out in my head.”

“It’s okay. It’s cute.”

That just makes her go redder. “I-- thank you, senpai. Thank you for everything this year. I’m happy I could embrace my true self, but… I couldn’t have done it without you.”

She smiles. “I could say the same to you.”

“I’m going to miss you so much! So you better text me a lot! And send lots of pictures! And…” Sumire stares down at her feet. “When you come back… I’d still hope you’ll want to be my girlfriend.”

A soft warmth floods in Akira’s chest. She holds Sumire close, making her let out a surprised yelp. Sure enough, though, Sumire hugs back, squeezing her girlfriend hard as if to try and make up for every moment they’ll spend apart.

* * *

14.

When Akira sends selfies to Sumire, she responds with a flood of heart emojis and calls her the most beautiful girl in the world.

When Akira gets belittled by her parents, Sumire stays on the phone with her and whispers soothing words until she feels whole again.

When Akira returns to Tokyo, her girlfriend nearly tackles her and locks her in a bear hug for so long that the other Thieves practically have to pry them apart.

And as the years pass, their mutual attraction only grows as they fit more into their true selves.

When Akira buys a ring to propose to Sumire, and when Akira gets onto one knee, Sumire starts laughing. Fear strikes her, but Sumire waves her hand. Then, she pulls out a ring box from her own pocket. The ‘no, you’ of engagement.

And when they both exchange their rings, Akira can’t believe she’s so lucky as to have someone like Sumire Yoshizawa in her life.

* * *

15.

.

.

.

It’s all Akira can do to walk steady.

She has Sojiro on her arm to guide her in case she trips on her way to the altar. The tears threatening to overflow would make an accident likely.

There’s smiling faces everywhere she looks. The former Thieves- her bridesmaids- and her Confidants, all of whom have accepted her wholeheartedly. As the wedding march plays, she feels like she center of the universe, like all her dreams are blossoming right before her eyes.

Especially so for the beautiful, wonderful woman waiting for her at the altar. Sumire wears a black suit with a red rose corsage. She lifts the veil on Akira’s face.

Ryuji’s already started ugly crying in the audience. Mishima pats his back, chuckling lightly. Sumire’s father takes off his glasses and wipes at his eyes with a handkerchief. Morgana carries the rings over on a cushion, whispering you owe me for this.

“Do you, Sumire Yoshizawa, take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife?”

Sumire doesn’t have to think about it. “I do.”

“And do you, Akira Kurusu, take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife?”

And there she goes crying, too. Sumire looks concerned, but Akira is giggling too. Thank goodness she wore water-proof makeup.

“I do.”

“By the power invested in me, I now pronounce you wife and wife. You may now kiss.”

Sumire embraces her wife and kisses her. It’s almost difficult from how hard they’re both smiling, and Akira’s still crying, but it’s the best kiss Akira’s ever had. All their friends let out a cheer and then before she knows it, Sumire picks up Akira bridal-style.

“I hope it’s everything you wished for,” Sumire says.

Akira leans in and kisses her wife again, this time on the cheek. “Everything and more.”

**Author's Note:**

> If you like my writing, please support me. 
> 
> https://officiallilith.tumblr.com/post/174676670574/commissions-are-open-update-162020-commissions  
> 


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